Using The Ancient Model Of Family To Have A Multi-Generational Impact

Rediscovering the Ancient Model of Family

We live in a world where the definition of family is hi-jacked, fragmented, or re-defined to suit our context, felt need, or convenience.  If you’re like me, you sense this new model of family isn’t working.  Instead of the modern family being a evolved form of family, I believe it is a broken, impotent version of the ancient model of family.  So, let’s have a look at what it might look like to embrace a more holistic and intentional approach—a model rooted in ancient wisdom and built to last generations.

Today, we’ll explore two contrasting views of family:

(1) the modern "Nest Model," a short-term, individualistic approach, and

(2) the ancient "Team Model," a long-term, generational vision inspired by biblical and historical practices.

The Nest Model: A Modern Default

The Nest Model views a family as a temporary launching pad. Parents focus on raising independent children who, once mature, leave the "nest" to start lives of their own. This approach often prioritizes individual success over collective goals and sees each family unit as a standalone entity. While it may appear practical, the Nest Model has several shortcomings:

1. Short-Term Vision: The focus is on one generation, often leading to a loss of shared purpose and continuity.
2. Consumerism Over Contribution: Families in this model can adopt a scarcity mindset, where resources—time, money, and energy—are limited, creating a competitive dynamic.
3. Disconnected Fathers: Many fathers struggle to find their role within the uninspired Nest Model, leading to disengagement as their strengths in leadership and vision remain untapped.

This approach, though normalized over the past two centuries, is a significant departure from historical family structures.

The Team Model: An Ancient Blueprint 

The Team Model presents a radically different vision. Here, the family operates as a cohesive, multigenerational unit, working together toward shared goals that span decades, even centuries. Inspired by biblical principles and ancient cultures, this model emphasizes:

1. Long-Term Vision: Families think in terms of legacy, building foundations for future generations to continue and expand upon.
2. Collaboration Over Competition: Members contribute their unique gifts and talents to the collective mission, fostering an abundance mindset.
3. Engaged Leadership: Fathers and mothers lead with intentionality, creating a sense of purpose and belonging for every member.

Historically, families were seen as teams with a shared mission. Children were considered a blessing and a source of wealth, and their upbringing focused on equipping them to contribute meaningfully to the family’s vision. This generational perspective is reflected in the biblical story of Abraham and his descendants, culminating in the genealogy of Jesus. Each generation played a crucial role in fulfilling God’s greater plan.

Practical Shifts Toward a Team Model

Transitioning from a Nest Model to a Team Model involves intentional changes in mindset and practices. Here are three foundational shifts to consider:

1. From Short-Term to Long-Term Thinking

Think of your family as a relay team grabbing the baton from your parents and passing it to your kids. Each generation has a specific role, contributing to a larger mission that extends beyond individual lifetimes. For example, instead of viewing your parenting as a standalone task, see it as part of a multigenerational story where you are both inheriting a legacy and passing it on the next generation.

2. From Reactive to Proactive Leadership

Leading a family team requires vision and strategy. Just as businesses hold strategy meetings and set long-term goals, families can adopt similar practices. Regular team meetings, annual summits, and shared planning sessions help align everyone’s efforts toward common goals. Ask questions like, “How can we do this together?” to integrate family members into daily activities and decisions.

3. From Me-Centered to Team-Centered Culture

Modern culture often emphasizes individualism, but the Team Model fosters a shared identity. Use team language—“We’re Team [Your Family Name]”—to reinforce unity. Celebrate collective wins and frame individual achievements as contributions to the team’s success.  Call out each team member’s strengths that are necessary for team wins.

Biblical Foundations of Family Mission

This ancient concept of family as a team on a mission is deeply rooted in Scripture.  Even in the very first chapter of Genesis, God commands humanity to:

- Be fruitful: Create value in whatever you do.

- Multiply: Raise the next generation.

- Fill: Create identity that extends to future generations.

- Subdue: Bring order to chaos.

- Rule: Lead and steward creation.

This mission statement not only remains relevant today, but it is more powerful, fulfilling, and exciting. Families are called to reflect God’s image, create flourishing environments, and build legacies that honor Him.

Adopting a Team Model isn’t without its challenges. Integrating children into family responsibilities, for instance, can initially feel chaotic. But the long-term rewards—from strengthened relationships to children exceeding their parents’ abilities—make it worthwhile. Whether it’s teaching a child to mow the lawn or involving them in family projects, these moments of collaboration lay the groundwork for future success.

Practical Tips for Getting Started

1. Hold Family Meetings: Set aside time each week to discuss goals, schedules, and values.
2. Create a Shared Vision: Develop a family mission statement that reflects your collective purpose.
3. Integrate Activities: Find ways to involve your children in everyday tasks, turning mundane routines into team-building opportunities.
4. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge both individual and collective contributions to the family’s mission.

Ultimately, the Team Model is about building something that lasts. As the proverb says, “The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has started to understand the meaning of life.” By embracing this ancient model, we can create families that flourish for generations, leaving a legacy of faith, love, and purpose all while finding greater fulfillment and impact within our daily family life.