How to Start a Weekly Multigenerational Meal Part 1
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[00:00:00] I believe we are actively at war against hurry, particularly within our families [00:00:05] against hurry and separation from each other. I'm positioning this As being [00:00:10] a beautiful, wonderful tool against those things.
[00:00:14] So if we are [00:00:15] at war, right, it's the obvious question. What is our sword? tonight we're going to talk [00:00:20] about one specific tool and that is [00:00:25] [00:00:30] [00:00:35] [00:00:40] [00:00:45] [00:00:50] [00:00:55] [00:01:00] [00:01:05] So, as, as Joe said, I haven't met all of you, so some [00:01:10] unfamiliar faces and some familiar faces. And, uh, my name is Rhett. This is my [00:01:15] wife, Ange. Allah, Allah, but we call her [00:01:20] an, if you wanna spell that, it's a NG, not a NGE. That's just weird. But people [00:01:25] do that sometimes. And then it's like an, is that an G? Is that an, it's impossible to know.
[00:01:28] So anyway, [00:01:30] it's important that you know these things. It started before I knew spelling rules, so it was just an [00:01:35] elementary a NG. That's right. So we are, um, yeah, super excited [00:01:40] to be here with you guys. I, as Joe said, just really want to [00:01:45] allow this night to be. A deep breath, um, and that [00:01:50] maybe as your family progresses, that it leads to more deep breaths, [00:01:55] um, is maybe the simplest way of talking about this.
[00:01:59] [00:02:00] So, um, yeah, we're gonna kinda, through the night, I'm gonna, we're [00:02:05] gonna do a little bit of, uh, laying out the why, and, and casting a bit of vision [00:02:10] for, for what has gotten us, Excited about our, you know, as [00:02:15] Joe said, epic family meal, um, which you could call it many, many things. But that's one way of [00:02:20] describing it.
[00:02:20] Um, although it doesn't always feel epic and it doesn't have to feel epic. [00:02:25] Um, and then we're, I want to That was a great introduction that Joe gave, [00:02:30] but I also want to add, because I feel this for every, uh, woman in the room, sustainable as well. [00:02:35] So, not just epic, but sustainable. Yeah, which we'll talk to, talk about.[00:02:40]
[00:02:40] Um, and then we're gonna also have an opportunity, uh, the Schmoyers are gonna join [00:02:45] us a little later, and we're gonna work through just some, like, practical [00:02:50] tips that we've learned, Uh, stolen and all [00:02:55] those types of things. So we highly, as in all house craft events, uh, [00:03:00] highly encouraged stealing of ideas, concepts, tips, protocols, all those [00:03:05] things.
[00:03:05] Cause that's why we're here. We're sharing. Um, so quickly, just so you know, [00:03:10] kind of. That is the whole fam, five kiddos, ages eight to almost 16. [00:03:15] Um, we have been participating in and [00:03:20] engaging in what we're referring to as this multi generational family [00:03:25] meal setting as a family for actually before we had [00:03:30] kids.
[00:03:30] So like 17 years, um, of. Trying and [00:03:35] experimenting. So just kind of from a frame of reference. We're not coming at you like [00:03:40] fresh And even with lots of fresh ideas These are tried and true and [00:03:45] they have been a huge part of developing our family identity So when [00:03:50] we're thinking through this Uh, think long game, that's, that's kind of why I'm saying that [00:03:55] timeline, right?
[00:03:55] Right? We've been doing this for 17 years. Some of you have been doing it for just as [00:04:00] long. Some of you might not even have a clue what we're talking about. Um, but, [00:04:05] uh, that, so Everett is our oldest right there. She has not known anything [00:04:10] but a weekly rhythm with this in it her entire life, right? I'll just give [00:04:15] you an idea.
[00:04:15] Um, but before we get into the why of it holistically, I want to give [00:04:20] a bit of a backstory for us. So Um, there [00:04:25] were, this was probably 12, 12, 10 to 12 years ago, uh, [00:04:30] we were, we're great, we love each other, we're the best. [00:04:35] Uh, we were, we've never had issues, uh, [00:04:40] except for, no, 10 to 12 years ago, what we began to recognize that life [00:04:45] was not, you know, when you ask like, what is the good life?
[00:04:49] Or what do you want [00:04:50] out of life? Even if we're not being idealistic about the perfect Christian answer to that. [00:04:55] Um, you, you have these mindsets of what your life, what you want it to [00:05:00] feel like, tastes like, and at the end of the day, Ange was not [00:05:05] experiencing life that way, right? We had three or four kids at the [00:05:10] time and, and to fast forward, or just to bust through that, what, what we [00:05:15] began to, that was a season of life.
[00:05:17] Where we said Ange began to [00:05:20] go through what we call heart surgery. Um, so it was a, I don't know if you guys can relate with [00:05:25] this, but there was a season where she was breaking. And when that [00:05:30] happens, the Lord began to do work in her, in our family, in us, getting some [00:05:35] things rearranged. And out of this journey, I got a vision.
[00:05:39] [00:05:40] Um, this is, this is why I'm telling you this. We're not going to run through all of our life, uh, hardships together. But [00:05:45] I got a vision coming out of this specific season of difficulty for her. [00:05:50] Um, and it was, she was honestly feeling like, hopeless. Why [00:05:55] are we, what are we doing? Right? [00:06:00] Raising a family is not easy work.
[00:06:04] Trying [00:06:05] to do the right things, trying to recalibrate generational things in your [00:06:10] family that, you know, rewriting what happened in your family. All the things that you wouldn't be at [00:06:15] a table in this room if you weren't trying that yourself. It [00:06:20] just is hard at times. It's, it's always hard, but sometimes it feels overwhelming.
[00:06:23] And that was where she was. [00:06:25] And without hope, lots of times, that means you've lost, [00:06:30] you've lost your vision, right? You've lost what you're fighting for. [00:06:35] And we were just wrestling for a couple years with this. I'm getting [00:06:40] counsel, help, sharing as much as we could. And I got this [00:06:45] vision of a table. And, and[00:06:50]
[00:06:52] the Lord just kind of like, and the vision was just, it was [00:06:55] literally a picture. It was as if, it was as if I took a snapshot of a future date. [00:07:00] And I saw this moment. And I was, I didn't know what to do with it. I ended up sharing it [00:07:05] with her and you can share if you want to about how that felt when I shared it.
[00:07:08] But in this hopeless [00:07:10] state, I got, God gave me a picture of a table longer than this, [00:07:15] where my wife was a beautiful white haired [00:07:20] woman sitting at the end of the table. [00:07:25] And, and mind you, this was five to seven years into already [00:07:30] having this, Epic family meal that our family was doing. But, but I [00:07:35] saw her sitting there at peace with a table full [00:07:40] of our children, their children, and their children.[00:07:45]
[00:07:47] And I just said to her, [00:07:50] I didn't, well, I didn't think I was getting emotional.[00:07:55]
[00:07:55] I shared the vision with her and I was like, I believe we'll get there.[00:08:00]
[00:08:04] Let's keep [00:08:05] going. And I painted that picture for her, so I don't know if you want to share anything about that. Sure. [00:08:10] Um, so in that season of life, like you said, we had a couple of small [00:08:15] kids and I don't know, I don't remember what it was, but, [00:08:20] um, I hit, I'm like a goal oriented type of person that [00:08:25] just naturally works hard at things.
[00:08:27] Um, and I kind of thought coming [00:08:30] from the background that I came from, um, in a non believing family that didn't really have a lot of [00:08:35] relationship with my parents. Now. Um, like all of these things that I'm [00:08:40] striving to do for my kids and for my family, um, raising my kids the right way, [00:08:45] you know, building a strong faith, setting this foundation that's different from what I grew in my mind, I [00:08:50] thought all of that's gonna, um, not just, you know, set them up ahead of me or like [00:08:55] above, um, where I was, but protect them from pain or from heartache or, [00:09:00] um, having to go through the same difficulties that I did.
[00:09:02] And for whatever reason, in the age [00:09:05] breakdown of the kids, it was like the first time I realized, like, Oh, crap, that's not gonna happen. Like, [00:09:10] they're still gonna have the pain and the heartache and all these things. And it just felt really hopeless. Like, so what are we [00:09:15] doing? And I just realized, like, my why has been wrong for the last few years.
[00:09:19] And I [00:09:20] needed to find a new why to settle myself. And the new why was actually this long [00:09:25] term relationship. And it was really a great gift that Rhett and the Lord gave me [00:09:30] by having that picture. And He's still regularly like if I'm losing hope will [00:09:35] will remind us of like this is the picture. This is where we're headed.
[00:09:38] So
[00:09:39] [00:09:40] Really quickly. This was a a picture of a multi [00:09:45] generational epic family meal in Canada this winter and [00:09:50] That's my those are my parents down there One thing so so that's kind of [00:09:55] it. That's the back story of Of A moment in [00:10:00] time that recast this vision for us, right? So at first it was just like, Oh, this is something [00:10:05] unique and cool to build culture in our family.
[00:10:06] Sweet. Let's go. And then it was like, Oh, halfway through our family's [00:10:10] existence, it was like, Oh, this is, it's necessary. And this will actually doing this [00:10:15] rhythmically is actually going to be a game changer for getting there. You don't [00:10:20] find yourself sitting at the end of a table when you're 83 years old With joy in your [00:10:25] heart and in depth and relationships if you don't practice and get there [00:10:30] now right over time Um, so that's kind of where that came from Uh, [00:10:35] the other thing that also hit me in that season somebody asked me this question So these are the first [00:10:40] two things of background and then we'll get into the actual Concept here.
[00:10:44] [00:10:45] Somebody asked me. Hey Rhett if you were this is just kind of like a life and life discipleship question [00:10:50] if you were You You were plucked up out of Cincinnati and put somewhere else in the [00:10:55] world. You're, you're now a missionary. You're now, your [00:11:00] job took you to Indonesia, whatever. And you were basically [00:11:05] isolated.
[00:11:05] You were isolated from the body of Christ. You were isolated from friends. You just really didn't have [00:11:10] connection. What would you guarantee would be [00:11:15] true about your family there? than here. And you think about all the things that wouldn't be true. Your [00:11:20] kids probably wouldn't have the same sports. You wouldn't have the same friendships for sure.
[00:11:24] So you wouldn't have [00:11:25] your eucar night or you wouldn't have your normal date night because you might not have babysitters. You know, there'd be a [00:11:30] lot of things that would change about the culture of your family. But one of the and it hit me like that. [00:11:35] This is just to kind of demonstrate for us the foundational nature of what [00:11:40] we're talking about tonight for our family is the the the answer [00:11:45] was for me from me.
[00:11:46] The rhythm of this meal weekly would [00:11:50] 100 percent be the thing I would guarantee you. We would keep doing [00:11:55] no matter what it is that foundational to where I believe our family needs to be headed [00:12:00] and to continue To develop a kingdom family culture [00:12:05] So heart surgery and the depth of foundational value we have [00:12:10] in this is where we kind of launch from on into the why?
[00:12:14] That I think this is [00:12:15] true. This is good for everybody and then we'll get in from there So, [00:12:20] uh, I believe this is kind of quick State of the Union. You guys, this is not probably [00:12:25] new news to anyone, but I believe we are actively at war [00:12:30] against hurry, particularly within our families against hurry and separation from each [00:12:35] other.
[00:12:35] Right? So, so much of the world, we're not going to do a whole thesis here, but so much of the world is [00:12:40] grabbing us. To pull us apart, right? And to keep us busy, right? [00:12:45] There's, there's all the books that are coming out, all the mental health stuff, all the, you know, we know this is [00:12:50] not a new concept. But, I'm positioning this [00:12:55] weekly, rhythmic meal with your family, multi generational family, [00:13:00] in the best case scenario, As being a beautiful, wonderful [00:13:05] tool against those things.
[00:13:08] So if we are at [00:13:10] war, right, it's the obvious question. What is our sword? What is our tool belt [00:13:15] for going against that? And there are lots of things, right? There [00:13:20] are, you know, all of your standard rhythms around your [00:13:25] personal time with the Lord and, you know, making sure that you and your spouse are on the same page.
[00:13:29] [00:13:30] There's. All kinds of awesome things that so much of 1KH and Housecraft events are [00:13:35] designed to help us with. But tonight I'm, we're going to talk about one specific tool [00:13:40] and that is this belief that I, I believe that rest is a weapon, right? [00:13:45] So often we think about rest as something that we sit [00:13:50] back and let happen to us, right?
[00:13:53] We equate rest with [00:13:55] vacation or the beach. Or something [00:14:00] where I'm going to go and I'm going to veg out and I want to pause it [00:14:05] and push tonight to say, no, rest is actually an active stance and you are [00:14:10] taking ground in the kingdom when you choose this path, right? And [00:14:15] so if that's the case, then you have to start asking under what conditions can we set that up in our [00:14:20] family?
[00:14:20] And can we do that rhythmically? And that's where this family meal [00:14:25] comes from, is, is, is a place where, how do we [00:14:30] integrate, right, warring against the separation, and slow down and rest on [00:14:35] purpose, warring against the hurry, together as a family. And [00:14:40] so we're going to talk tonight about the how of doing that, but this is kind of where we're headed.
[00:14:44] Yeah, and I [00:14:45] want to say, um, you know, at best with rest, we're, we can be proactive, but [00:14:50] typically in our society, right, it's, um, proactive once, maybe twice a year, right, where we [00:14:55] set this goal, like you said, to go to the beach and we're work, work, work, hurry, hurry, hurry to then, [00:15:00] um, at worst it's when rest is forced upon us because we get sick or we're injured or something, and then we have to go, [00:15:05] Oh, what is this like?
[00:15:05] And so, um, I would posit that rest not only is an important, but should [00:15:10] be a more regular event that is happening, not just vacation mode time. [00:15:15] Yep. So the family meal, the family table that we have a picture [00:15:20] of decades from now is a tool to [00:15:25] accomplish what we're talking about, right? It's not the only one.
[00:15:28] It's not the only way to rest, but it's one that [00:15:30] you can do rhythmically and it can create value. Um, this is, uh, from one of my [00:15:35] favorite, uh, musicians and artists. I just like to read this because [00:15:40] he sums it up so well with rest being a weapon. I was born into a system [00:15:45] constructed for failure. to make red tape in response to simple questions.
[00:15:48] Questions that threaten the [00:15:50] perception of a beneficial system. A pyramid scheme with its cogs and its pistons, [00:15:55] mechanization of men, making more and more live a miserable existence. And this [00:16:00] begs the question, my rest is a weapon against the oppression of man's [00:16:05] obsession to control things. How do good men become part of the scheme?
[00:16:09] They [00:16:10] don't believe in resistance. Hold fast like an anchor in the storm. We will [00:16:15] not be moved. So the question is to you, men and women in this room leading families [00:16:20] tonight. How will you ensure you are not going to be moved? Right? [00:16:25] How will you ensure an anchor in the storm? Many ways. One of [00:16:30] them is my what I'm throwing out.
[00:16:31] One of them is holding fast like To [00:16:35] a family table, a family meal, and being unrelenting [00:16:40] in your pursuit of that as a part of the narrative for your family.[00:16:45]
[00:16:48] And listen to more Josh Garrels.[00:16:50]
[00:16:52] Alright, so, I've already said it, but here it is [00:16:55] on a slide because it's not official unless it's there. Uh, the family table meal is a tool in our battle [00:17:00] against the forces pulling us away from each other and the king. There you go, sweet. That means I [00:17:05] covered it and we're good. Um, I already did that one, I already told you that.
[00:17:09] That [00:17:10] question I think is an interesting one, by the way. That's just a side note. The question that I was challenged in. [00:17:15] I would suggest as a family, that would be an interesting discussion question for you [00:17:20] culturally, as in your family, either aspirationally [00:17:25] or realistically right now, what would be true if you were plopped into another culture, [00:17:30] another environment and you didn't have all of the systems around you and people around you that you [00:17:35] currently do?
[00:17:35] It might begin to tell you what some of your family culture and identity feels like and [00:17:40] is if you're struggling to kind of understand that. Um, so [00:17:45] very quickly, we've talked about [00:17:50] why I think it's important, where we came from and getting there. And now the, now we're pushing into [00:17:55] the what, okay? So the what of the family table meal, you might be going, what are you talking [00:18:00] about?
[00:18:00] We eat dinner together like four nights a week. Are we good? Maybe. [00:18:05] But the question is how intentional are you using that experience and, and basically [00:18:10] saying if we're going to be together around a table. How do [00:18:15] we use that time to foster the culture of our family? [00:18:20] And so we're getting into the what and the how for the rest of the night around that.[00:18:25]
[00:18:25] Um, and you're going to have plenty of time at the end to ask questions. So make notes of questions if you've got them. [00:18:30] I'm assuming most of them are probably going to come in the how we do any of what we do. But, um, [00:18:35] let's, let's jump in here. I think we've experienced this in [00:18:40] our experimentation in this for 17 years.
[00:18:43] We believe it is [00:18:45] necessary and super duper important to make [00:18:50] a set apart time. Right? It should feel So if you're [00:18:55] gonna You're talking about Okay, what are you talking about, Rhett? Again, you're talking about a family meal around the table, [00:19:00] intentional time. What are we doing? Well One aspect of what you're [00:19:05] doing is you are creating a different experience than normal.
[00:19:08] I don't know if you've ever [00:19:10] participated in a Passover Seder. Some people think that's really weird and have never done anything like that. Some [00:19:15] people think it's very normal and do it all the time every year. But one of the interesting things about a Passover Seder [00:19:20] experience is the children are always, you ask, why is, why do we do things differently [00:19:25] tonight?
[00:19:25] Right. There's a set apartness to that experience, whether you like it [00:19:30] or don't like it or want to do it or don't want to do it, there's something special when you do something different. [00:19:35] Right. And so, uh, set it apart to connect your heart. [00:19:40] I made that up. Right. Great stuff. Josh. [00:19:45] Gerald's ask right there.
[00:19:47] Um, And make it [00:19:50] enjoyable. Think about the age of your kids. Again, when we started this, we weren't, we didn't [00:19:55] even have kids. Talk about awkward, right? But as we developed, as, [00:20:00] as we developed children, they just, we just kind of like, like, uh, as [00:20:05] we developed as a family and had more children, what we began to ask, and this is different, if you, if we would have done [00:20:10] this talk 15 years ago, it would have been different.
[00:20:13] Both in what we had learned, [00:20:15] but also in what, the way we did it. So the how. Would be very different now with the [00:20:20] almost 16 year old who cooks our meal almost every [00:20:25] week, right? Versus where we were when we were drowning in three kids under the age of five. [00:20:30] Right? Um, but how can it be enjoyable? So, and [00:20:35] here's the deal, how is this different from any other night?
[00:20:38] Most nights when I'm [00:20:40] having a dinner with our family around the table, the normal table, I'm not [00:20:45] asking these questions. I'm asking how can we not die tonight? [00:20:50] I don't know if you can relate with that question, but how can I [00:20:55] successfully not destroy the table or my children in the [00:21:00] process and maybe have a healthy meal and then go to bed and Wake up and do it [00:21:05] again.
[00:21:05] There's that is, you know, that that weekly pattern can be. So how do we set it apart? So [00:21:10] these are questions I want you as you guys are gonna have table time when we eat This is kind of like [00:21:15] impetus for these questions. What could you do to set it apart make it different? Okay? [00:21:20] Ideas that we've had again, we'll get into how later but how do you bring [00:21:25] in all the senses make it experiential?
[00:21:28] What smells [00:21:30] are going to be normal for that type of experience? What sounds are Are going to be normal [00:21:35] for that kind of experience? What, what pre dinner rhythms? [00:21:40] How are, how will someone in your family know that this is a different night?[00:21:45]
[00:21:47] It's an interesting question. Make it [00:21:50] different. Are you going to eat on different plates? Have different [00:21:55] kinds of food, ask different kinds of questions. [00:22:00] What would you do to set something apart differently from every other night? [00:22:05] We'll get into the how and details with tips later. [00:22:10] Um, here are some examples of how we've made it different, [00:22:15] okay?
[00:22:15] Uh, this is a little, this is aged a bit, but these are some pictures we had from [00:22:20] several years ago. Um, that is my, um, second son [00:22:25] slapping his butt at the table. Um, so that's different. We don't do that every night. [00:22:30] Contrary to popular belief, uh, but this is us [00:22:35] singing a song. We don't sing a song every night of the week before dinner.[00:22:40]
[00:22:40] We sing songs in the morning when we worship together as a family, but we don't do that at dinner. Maybe [00:22:45] we should. I don't know. And our worship songs don't involve spanking. That is also true. [00:22:50] Um, So, that's one, that's one thing. You can see our youngest. [00:22:55] One thing to keep in mind. She was like 18 months old.
[00:22:58] She was eating food while we were not. [00:23:00] So, like, low, low pressure, right, on making this awesome for, [00:23:05] you know, the, the babies in the room. Um, smells. We have a candle that we [00:23:10] light. There, we, we found, we went to Yankee Candle and asked the [00:23:15] lady at the desk, What will never go out of stock here? [00:23:20] Because, when she's 83, at the end of that table, I want that same [00:23:25] smell.
[00:23:26] Right? When my kids, who have maybe moved all across the world [00:23:30] potentially, and my grandkids and my great grandkids, when they come back to this table, again, cast the [00:23:35] vision. I want them to step into our house and not just go, Oh, that smells [00:23:40] like mom and dad's house. I want them to go, That smells like our table.[00:23:45]
[00:23:45] I want them to know that a Tuesday night is different from a Friday [00:23:50] night 60 years from now. When I'm dead. Although, I did just say, [00:23:55] she just had her 41st birthday. She looks good, doesn't she? I know, I know. [00:24:00] Uh, and I said in the note I wrote to her, I really believe we're going to make it 60 [00:24:05] more years. So, here's to 101, alright?
[00:24:08] Well, I want to say too, so [00:24:10] this candle, um, has been an important part of our, uh, family meal. [00:24:15] And I never got my smell back since COVID two years ago, so I can't even smell said [00:24:20] candle. Um, but just to like, give an emphasis on how important this [00:24:25] is, so our youngest still takes the candle around to everyone to smell, and every week, [00:24:30] everybody is hoping that I'll be able to smell it.
[00:24:31] Like, it's that, like, strong in our family. Like, is this the week? [00:24:35] Did you smell it?
[00:24:36] This is our middle child, uh, Pia. Yeah. [00:24:40] Nope. They look, they all run together. [00:24:45] My point was, [00:24:50] my point was going to be this, and we're going to act like this was Pia because [00:24:55] my point is the youngest child, whoever it has been in our family. And one day it will be the youngest [00:25:00] grandchild. Right. And the youngest great grandchild will do this.
[00:25:04] [00:25:05] Right. Um, so. This is not Pia, apparently, but [00:25:10] it's impossible to know. It's an easy way to get the youngest child involved, right? Like most of the [00:25:15] time they're just eating or sitting to the side while we're doing everything else. But this is one way to get them up and [00:25:20] involved in the experience. Dancing.
[00:25:24] That's [00:25:25] Pia. I would have said that's Everett. So that's, that's why I, [00:25:30] um, all right. Oh, sounds. I [00:25:35] blow a horn. Because I'm weird, but I do it every Shabbat. That's how the [00:25:40] kids will be running around. One of the things we do, the kids will be running around. Uh, we, they're, they're [00:25:45] out in the yard. We live in a weird community where kids could be anywhere on earth and you never know.[00:25:50]
[00:25:50] This can be heard from like half a mile away. So they just come [00:25:55] running. It's like a dinner bell. Um. You could use a bell. You [00:26:00] could use a bell. You could do whatever you want, really. Uh, that's it. [00:26:05] Jolene saying, please don't blow that again. Um, all right, so [00:26:10] different and enjoyable. Second thing, rhythmic and sustainable.
[00:26:13] You've heard me say rhythm [00:26:15] multiple times. You've heard me say weekly rhythm multiple times. I'm not here to [00:26:20] exactly dictate how you do this, but you know, [00:26:25] a, uh, a wonderful friend of mine once said, who may or may not be sitting in [00:26:30] this room, check your weekly rhythm. And look to see what's in it, and it will [00:26:35] begin to let you understand what you care about, and what you're doing, right?
[00:26:38] Or at least that's a paraphrase. And [00:26:40] so, I think Weekly is an important part of this narrative, um, because it becomes [00:26:45] expected, but What I think is important and what you think is important may not be the same thing, and that's [00:26:50] okay. But here's the deal. The bottom part is what I care most about. Everyone in [00:26:55] your family, as the generations continue, whichever direction, old [00:27:00] generations to young generations, should know when, how, and where it happens.[00:27:05]
[00:27:06] So what I don't think would work is, [00:27:10] yeah, so sometimes we have a dinner, and when they come, [00:27:15] everybody knows it's special. That's not really what I'm talking [00:27:20] about, right? Because then no one knows what to expect in [00:27:25] terms of how often, when does, does it actually create culture? I [00:27:30] don't think so. To create culture and to not just be responsive to some need, [00:27:35] right?
[00:27:35] Or holiday, right? Sometimes something is like, yeah, we do this every Thanksgiving, Christmas. [00:27:40] So does the rest of America. So are we setting [00:27:45] ourselves up to be different? And can we create a rhythmic and sustainable option? So again, Ange mentioned [00:27:50] sustainable. So if you're going to do it weekly, If it's going to be that important set up in your family rhythm, [00:27:55] then you probably have to make it sustainable.
[00:27:57] Because if you're having to recreate the wheel every week and [00:28:00] try to just blow something out of the water, you're going to get drained and it's no longer going to be something awesome [00:28:05] for you. Yeah. And in regards to the regularity of it, I think [00:28:10] it's really important for us, it's a Friday night, whatever night that might be for your family.
[00:28:13] But. If [00:28:15] you can make it the same night every week, I think that that's really important. Now, if you're somebody who's like an [00:28:20] ER doctor and has kind of a wonky schedule, I think your family's probably already on that [00:28:25] reality and can make that work, but here's what happens, um, for most families if it's not the same day [00:28:30] of the week.
[00:28:30] One, it's easy to get pushed aside and not do it. Two, you know what [00:28:35] it's like when you go to, um, the family Thanksgiving meal three days later. And your heart's [00:28:40] actually just not really into it. And you're kind of like, why are we doing this? Like, I kind of wanted to move on to the next thing in life. So [00:28:45] your family, your children will sense that if you're like, hey, we're not here Friday night.
[00:28:49] So instead we're going [00:28:50] to do this meal on Wednesday. Everybody's going, well, this isn't Wednesday night meal. Like, I just [00:28:55] wanted to like bust it real quick to go to the next thing. So keeping it the same is really important. [00:29:00] Yeah, obviously, the, the, my, my parents version of this back when they were [00:29:05] kids was Sunday Supper.
[00:29:07] Right. And [00:29:10] honestly, as a kid, when I heard their stories of Sunday Supper, my grandmother had five kids, lived in [00:29:15] Phoenix, Arizona, and she would put the roast in the oven and they'd go to church. [00:29:20] And then they'd have, who knows who would come over, including their family and [00:29:25] many other guests off the street, literally in their home each week.[00:29:30]
[00:29:30] And I kind of sloughed that off like, Oh yeah, Sunday, Sunday supper. Real cool. You know, like we [00:29:35] do it on Fridays. So like, but what I realized as I aged. [00:29:40] It was like, whoa, people in their church, [00:29:45] neighbors, family members knew that at 3 [00:29:50] p. m. on Sunday afternoons, the Preston household was doing something like [00:29:55] this.
[00:29:56] And again, culturally, that was kind of normal then. And [00:30:00] that's what's been lost. One of the things that we've lost, even if you eat dinner as a family regularly [00:30:05] around your table, we've lost this kind of setup where there is an [00:30:10] expectation. It is a solid pillar in your family's rhythm. And I would [00:30:15] just say, as much as it may seem like it's not important because of what's created around the table, [00:30:20] right?
[00:30:20] We could go through all the scriptures, which I chose not to do tonight, but go through all the scriptures of what the [00:30:25] table means. Right? The wedding feast to come. The, the [00:30:30] Lord's table. Like, there, there's so many examples of where the table is a meeting place and something special [00:30:35] happens there. Really, I just encourage you tonight, if nothing else, even if you don't listen [00:30:40] to any of my what's or how's, to just process together as a couple and a family.
[00:30:44] [00:30:45] Man, how could we pour more gas on this fire for our multi generational [00:30:50] family? [00:30:55] [00:31:00] [00:31:05] [00:31:10]
