From Chaos to Clarity (Part 2): Tips and Tricks for Implementing SOP's in Your Home
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[00:00:35] [00:00:40] [00:00:45] Hey friends, welcome to the 1000 Houses podcast, where we [00:00:50] encourage and equip households to make disciples in and through the home. Every [00:00:55] episode, you'll hear interviews, teachings, and conversations around what it looks like to turn your [00:01:00] home into a hub for mission, community, and discipleship. If you'd like to [00:01:05] learn more about what entering into a season of coaching might look like for you and your household, [00:01:10] visit 1kh.
[00:01:11] org for more info. Let's jump into [00:01:15] today's episode.
[00:01:16] Blake Smith: [00:01:20] So yeah, we put [00:01:25] together just top 10 tips of trying to implement this stuff. This is [00:01:30] Chandler, my wife, and this is Lucas.
[00:01:32] Lucas: Not his wife.
[00:01:33] Blake Smith: Not my wife, very [00:01:35] much not his wife. Also, his wife Tara wanted to be here, or maybe didn't want to be here. No, she did. She [00:01:40] did want to be here. Okay, she wanted to be here, but she's sick unfortunately.
[00:01:43] Blake Smith: And so she has downloaded [00:01:45] her wisdom to Lucas to speak on behalf of the family. Chandler, you're gonna have to move [00:01:50] in. Tim is telling us we're out of shot. So, all right. Cool. All [00:01:55] right. So we're gonna do a top 10. Uh, let's jump in. Lucas, you want to take off number [00:02:00] one.
[00:02:00] Lucas: Okay. All right. So, as can be the case [00:02:05] with these kinds of things, sometimes it can be a little bit overwhelming.
[00:02:08] Lucas: It can be like, feels like one more thing [00:02:10] we have to do. One more, you know, task to add to our parenting [00:02:15] list of tasks. So I think it's important. When we're starting off with this idea [00:02:20] to begin with the end in mind, uh, I loved how Blake said, [00:02:25] imagine a world where X, Y, Z happens, right? [00:02:30] Imagine a world where something that is not very good right now could [00:02:35] be really good and start there.
[00:02:37] Lucas: Okay. It's always going to [00:02:40] be harder to include your children and to train your children into those [00:02:45] things than it is for you to just do it yourself. It will always take you longer [00:02:50] to include your children than it would be for you to just do it yourself. [00:02:55] If you have the end in mind, if your children can pick this stuff [00:03:00] up and run with it, there is a better future that you have for your family in mind, and [00:03:05] it's always important to keep that front and center.
[00:03:07] Lucas: That we're not doing it because it's the most [00:03:10] expedient way to get the task done right now. We're doing it because we want to be a more [00:03:15] fruitful, more orderly family. In that way, [00:03:20] bringing them into our work and training them is a beautiful thing that we can get [00:03:25] excited about. Versus, I'm sure all of you can, you know, [00:03:30] relate to this.
[00:03:31] Lucas: It can be a pain when you're trying to train your [00:03:35] kid how to mow the lawn, for example. Okay? It can be really difficult. right [00:03:40] Um, one little tip there. Yeah, I said this at the, uh, at the conference I was at a couple of [00:03:45] weeks ago and resonated wasn't a big deal to me, but I have found that if I try [00:03:50] to bring my kid into the beginning of the task, when I'm very task oriented, [00:03:55] it drives me crazy.
[00:03:56] Lucas: So real quick tip, bring your kid in at the very [00:04:00] end of the task. So when you've got like one more strip to do. on the lawn and you [00:04:05] already feel like you've gotten the job done, hand the lawn mower over to the kid and say, go for it. Right. [00:04:10] Um, you can train a lot easier there. So begin with the end in mind, keep that vision [00:04:15] of a better future in mind when you're doing this and it will [00:04:20] pay off.
[00:04:21] Blake Smith: Really good. Do you have anything to add on that?
[00:04:22] Chandler: That's great. [00:04:25] All right. Um, every press process has a shelf life [00:04:30] in, I think in our household, each process gets maybe two to three months [00:04:35] before it starts to feel like it's breaking and not working. And, [00:04:40] and I think what I've learned is that it's not that It's not that SOPs don't [00:04:45] work.
[00:04:45] Chandler: It's that your family is growing and changing and the toddler doesn't nap at the [00:04:50] same time anymore. And like everything is evolving. And so you, it's really like, [00:04:55] it's something you need to come back and like adjust every couple of months, retrain every couple of [00:05:00] months, like companies have retraining and that's a normal thing.
[00:05:03] Chandler: And I think that's really true in the [00:05:05] family too. This picture is, uh, For the longest time we had like a buddy system for getting in the car. [00:05:10] We have three older kids and three younger kids and each older kid had a buddy of the younger [00:05:15] kids and their job was to like make sure, make sure they had shirt, [00:05:20] shoes, pants, underwear, and socks, [00:05:25] um, to get in the car.
[00:05:25] Chandler: And then they had to get buckled all the way and the older ones buckled the little ones. [00:05:30] And now. Our babies are the four year old and two year old are like dead [00:05:35] set on like they want to be the ones to do it. And it was just creating so much chaos because the buddies were like, what, we're [00:05:40] trying to do the thing.
[00:05:40] Chandler: Like we can't do it. They won't let us. And, um, I think now it's [00:05:45] like, okay, what we need to train is we need to train the two year old to buckle her own car [00:05:50] seat because she really wants to do that right now. And that's what we're training. So the buddy system isn't [00:05:55] working the way it was three months ago and that's okay, but we're training them in those new skills.
[00:05:59] Lucas: It's great.[00:06:00]
[00:06:03] Lucas: All right, simplify. [00:06:05] Okay. It can feel a little overwhelming sometimes when we're talking about [00:06:10] documenting things and all that kind of stuff. The idea here is to save [00:06:15] yourself work in the long time to make things easier for your family in the long time and so [00:06:20] in the long run. So it's not about whether or not you follow it exactly the way we just [00:06:25] talked about it here.
[00:06:26] Lucas: Make it work for you. Make it simple. Okay, this is the longest [00:06:30] standing process system we have in our family. It's this tiny little whiteboard [00:06:35] that hangs on the side of our refrigerator in our kitchen, okay? It has [00:06:40] Uh, each day, who's in charge of scooping the poop and feeding the dog. It has [00:06:45] who's in charge of cooking.
[00:06:46] Lucas: And then clean up by day. And then it also [00:06:50] has, uh, what we call their blessing hour, which is the zones that our children are responsible for [00:06:55] cleaning up before dinner. Okay. This whiteboard gets changed all the time. The [00:07:00] whiteboard gets erased. It gets, it gets, you know, we used to do it in, in document form, but I was editing [00:07:05] it so much that I was like, I can't edit it anymore.
[00:07:07] Lucas: I'm just going to go to the whiteboard. Okay. So [00:07:10] if there's a simple way for you to implement this. Start simply. If it's a [00:07:15] whiteboard, if it's a post it note, if it's, you don't have to have it be like super, you [00:07:20] know, branded and all that kind of stuff. That's great if that's the way you're wired, but if it's easier for you [00:07:25] to just get it done this way, start simple.
[00:07:27] Blake Smith: This isn't the Cole brand of green and [00:07:30] dark green? No,
[00:07:31] Lucas: that's not
[00:07:31] Blake Smith: the Cole brand. And off green? No, that's right. Okay, cool. All right, [00:07:35] Chandler.
[00:07:35] Chandler: Okay, um, SOPs are for parents too. [00:07:40] Most of the examples that we talked about have been for like kids, teaching your kids how to be [00:07:45] helpful, contributing team members.
[00:07:46] Chandler: But, um, at the start of this year, I, [00:07:50] I was like, you know what? One of the biggest pain points, and if you're in CC, I've [00:07:55] like told you all about this and everyone in RCC is doing the same thing. So this is old news. [00:08:00] Um, but one of the biggest pain points in my life was like [00:08:05] Shoot, it's four o'clock and I have 600 kids and I don't even know what we're making for dinner tonight [00:08:10] Every single day and somehow that was just how I lived for decades.
[00:08:13] Chandler: Um, [00:08:15] So I thought you know what some of my sweetest memories were being [00:08:20] Um, a kid at summer camp and at summer camp, we have the same rhythm every single [00:08:25] day. Every Tuesday you eat tacos. Every Friday you eat pizzas. And that was [00:08:30] wonderful. And no one complained about that. So I thought, I'm basically running a summer camp [00:08:35] now in our household, and I need to to cook like that.
[00:08:39] Chandler: Um, [00:08:40] so I just said, what if I design what a good week looks like for meals? [00:08:45] I even like took into consideration, like, okay, we have like a lot going on this day, so I need [00:08:50] something super easy that night. We have like more flex time on a [00:08:55] Monday so I can do something creative. You know, um, I built like what a good [00:09:00] week of meals looked like.
[00:09:01] Chandler: And then I just said, What if for 12 weeks, a whole [00:09:05] season, we just rinse and repeat over and over again? And it has been such a [00:09:10] game changer that I like, I'm shouting it from the rooftops. It's so awesome [00:09:15] because there are a couple, there are a couple of things. One, it just like simplifies my mental load.
[00:09:19] Chandler: [00:09:20] It's Monday. So it's burger night. I know that the kids know that no one's asking me, everyone's [00:09:25] excited because it's Monday. And I don't have to think about that. And I plan my groceries at the beginning of the week. And [00:09:30] that's fine. Um, another thing, like our grocery budget. It felt like [00:09:35] significantly because I could buy a big thing of tomatoes and use half of them this week [00:09:40] and half of them the next week instead of buying a bunch of stuff for one meal and then having it go [00:09:45] bad or, you know, doing random stuff with it.
[00:09:47] Chandler: Um, a third really cool thing is it [00:09:50] has, um, since, since we're doing all these things over and over again, I start feeling [00:09:55] more like a, like an Italian grandma where I just have this like backlog of recipes in [00:10:00] my head. And I don't need to use a cookbook for anything because I've made the same meal 12 [00:10:05] times in the last three weeks, three, three months.
[00:10:07] Chandler: And also my kids have done it too. [00:10:10] So, um, they, they are part of making each of these meals and they [00:10:15] know the processes that go into each one and they can be trained in it one week. They can be, I [00:10:20] can watch them chop the vegetables the next week. They can go on. And so like [00:10:25] a month ago we were going to my in laws lake house.
[00:10:28] Chandler: Um, and I had to make [00:10:30] meatballs for like 30 people, all the cousins that were going to be there. So I just said, Charleston, my [00:10:35] 10 year old, I said, okay, here's, here's the recipe, you know what to do, [00:10:40] quadruple it. I think she like four acts did. And I did something else. I don't know. Maybe I took a nap, [00:10:45] put a kid to bed and I came out an hour and a half later and we had like a hundred meatballs [00:10:50] made ready to go.
[00:10:50] Chandler: And I was like, this is. This is glorious! This is amazing! Let's
[00:10:54] Lucas: go!
[00:10:54] Chandler: [00:10:55] Yeah! Knee falls!
[00:10:56] Lucas: Yeah, um, one, one comment on that. [00:11:00] Um, even if you can't do it for your whole week, If you can just like pick [00:11:05] one day where you have the same thing. I know taco Tuesday is probably a very normal thing, [00:11:10] uh, amongst a lot of families, but we found it sometimes when we try to do the whole week, it would start to [00:11:15] feel like a little overwhelming, but if you can even just do this with three or four nights out of your day, it, [00:11:20] it simplifies a ton
[00:11:21] Chandler: or just like, we just do it for dinners, [00:11:25] breakfast, lunch, we can figure out,[00:11:30]
[00:11:31] Lucas: this is a kind of another philosophical point, [00:11:35] but sometimes when you're hearing. Stories of the kids are making [00:11:40] breakfast for you. It feels like wrong, right? It feels like why would we do we don't want to put our [00:11:45] kids through that your kids are mowing the lawn Yeah, like Like, don't you want them to just be [00:11:50] children, right?
[00:11:52] Lucas: I'm telling you, your children [00:11:55] are, are dying for this. They want this. They want to feel [00:12:00] like they are an asset to the family. They want to understand and have [00:12:05] skills and have responsibilities that they feel like they're contributing to the [00:12:10] family. This is my daughter, Savannah. That's her friend. Yeah, that's her friend, Vivian, [00:12:15] and Vivian, kind of like Blake, was skeptical that Savannah knew how to make [00:12:20] breakfast.
[00:12:20] Lucas: And so one day, Savannah invited Vivian over and showed her and actually started teaching [00:12:25] her how to make breakfast. Vivian had never even turned a stove on, [00:12:30] right, in her family, and they had a ball. And you can just see it on my, on my daughter's face. They love it, [00:12:35] right? This is empowering to them. This is, this is good for them.
[00:12:38] Lucas: You can eat. [00:12:40] It really, truly, when you can look at your children and say, you are a [00:12:45] blessing to us, they, they feel that they want to be a blessing to you. They [00:12:50] want to contribute to your family. So don't, I think don't buy into the lie that by [00:12:55] giving your children more responsibility around your home, that you're robbing them of their childhood.
[00:12:59] Lucas: I don't [00:13:00] think that's true. Look, our kids still play a ton. Okay. They play like all the time. [00:13:05] Like, we're not like, they're not working 12 hour days in our home. And you know, But the [00:13:10] things that they do are truly contributing to the overall health and wellness of our family, and they feel [00:13:15] that.
[00:13:15] Blake Smith: Yeah. Anybody read the book, uh, Hunt, Gather, Parent?
[00:13:18] Blake Smith: Anybody read that book? I love, they [00:13:20] have that phrase in there, they call it accommodito. Hunt, [00:13:25] gather, parent. Yes. Um, okay. Um, they, they have a [00:13:30] phrase, accommodito, which is, uh, if you try to do the dishes in front of a two year old, without [00:13:35] fail, the two year old will go over and start trying to touch the dish and start doing the thing with you, right?
[00:13:39] Blake Smith: And I [00:13:40] think in the West, we tend to be like, stop it, you're making it, this inefficient. Like, I want to be doing this. Or [00:13:45] you try to do, use a broom, In front of a four year old kid, immediately, they're like, I want that broom. I [00:13:50] want to be the one sweeping. And so, uh, in other cultures, they say never [00:13:55] squash that desire.
[00:13:56] Blake Smith: Like, indulge the two year old. Indulge the three year old. Let them [00:14:00] help you, or help you, because once you squash that desire, it never comes back. [00:14:05] And so it's very important to kind of let it thrive. Because that desire is there. They want to be [00:14:10] helpful. And it's actually, I think it's a survival instinct.
[00:14:12] Blake Smith: Of like, if I can be helpful to these people, they're going to keep me around. [00:14:15] They're going to feed me, right? And so it's important, uh, to let, let [00:14:20] kids do that. And don't take efficiency in the moment away from, uh, [00:14:25] something productive for a lifetime. Oh, this is me. Uh, yes, [00:14:30] we talked about this a little bit.
[00:14:30] Blake Smith: You can do rewards. This is our kids being so excited. They got to play, uh, Ninja [00:14:35] Turtles. On the switch. They were so pumped about that. Um, [00:14:40] it's totally okay You don't have to do rewards every single time, but it's okay to use rewards plus [00:14:45] sops Um, I find that could be really helpful Especially if you're kind of getting them on to sort of a [00:14:50] process or something like that.
[00:14:52] Blake Smith: Um, [00:14:55]
[00:14:55] Lucas: Real fast on that last one. Yeah, um, I have found Like the [00:15:00] larger and more complex the task is The more a reward [00:15:05] usually is necessary. Yeah, right Um, picking up their shoes and all that kind of stuff. Very, very [00:15:10] simple. Cleaning up after dinner, very simple. Organizing a huge like blitz [00:15:15] of the house to get it clean and having responsibilities.
[00:15:17] Lucas: That's typically where you have to start going, okay, I [00:15:20] need to tap into something. And again, this is human nature. We are all [00:15:25] incentive driven. We go to work because somebody gives us a paycheck, right? We don't [00:15:30] just do these things. Most of the things we do. We do it because there is some incentive. So I don't think it's [00:15:35] bad or wrong to make sure that your children are incentivized.
[00:15:38] Lucas: Again, it's a slippery slope. You don't want [00:15:40] it to be like every time you ask them to do something, they're asking how many chocolate chips they're going to get or something like that. Right. [00:15:45] But don't be afraid to use this. It's a great tool.
[00:15:47] Blake Smith: Yeah. It was so funny, [00:15:50] maybe a little ironic. We were trying to figure out how to create order around pickup before [00:15:55] dinner.
[00:15:55] Blake Smith: Kids are getting kind of wily where everyone's getting hungry. Chandler's cooking dinner. Like it's like, how [00:16:00] do we create order? And it was so ironic that the solution. was video games. [00:16:05] Because I feel like Chandler's not been the biggest fan of video games, but 30 minutes of video games became the [00:16:10] magnet for the kids just whipped through.
[00:16:11] Blake Smith: They were asking, could we start pickup early so that [00:16:15] we can maximize video game time? And that thing stuck. Like it's really stuck for a [00:16:20] year, year and a half. It's kind of crazy. Like, Yeah,
[00:16:23] Chandler: now that and now they're like, oh [00:16:25] it's 4 30 and they just start cleaning.
[00:16:27] Blake Smith: Yes. We literally don't ask [00:16:30] them That one's working pretty well.
[00:16:31] Blake Smith: That's pretty good. Yeah [00:16:35]
[00:16:35] Lucas: focus on roi Um, you know blake mentioned this earlier [00:16:40] But when you're when you're thinking about where to implement something like this or where to get started, I [00:16:45] think it's important to You know, we're not just trying to make our [00:16:50] entire household process oriented. We're not just trying to document every possible thing you could possibly [00:16:55] do.
[00:16:55] Lucas: That's not the point. The point is a return on this investment, a return on the [00:17:00] training. Okay. The reason why we did the breakfast thing and dirty little secret, by [00:17:05] the way, exactly what Blake did to me coming over to my house that morning, I heard some other [00:17:10] family did this and I drove to their home at six in the morning and saw their family make [00:17:15] breakfast.
[00:17:15] Lucas: And I brought it back to my family. So this, I'm like a second generation. Blake's a third generation.
[00:17:19] Blake Smith: And [00:17:20] now look at this fourth gen is amazing.
[00:17:22] Lucas: But the reason why [00:17:25] this resonated with me so much and why I wanted to do it was because this was probably one of the more chaotic. [00:17:30] in our home. Okay. Every morning it seemed like we [00:17:35] didn't have a good system in place.
[00:17:36] Lucas: I was waking up a certain time. Tara was waking up a certain time. The kids were waking up a [00:17:40] certain time. This kid wanted that for breakfast. That kid wanted that for breakfast and it was just getting the whole day [00:17:45] started off on the wrong foot. I mean, it literally was like I did not look [00:17:50] forward to morning time in my home.
[00:17:52] Lucas: Okay. And my wife hated it and my [00:17:55] kids hated it and all this kind of stuff. And then I walk into this other guy's house and it's just peace, peace, peace. [00:18:00] And good food and good conversation. And I'm like, holy crap, we need that. [00:18:05] That was why we did it. Not just because we wanted to be the cool family that could make breakfast [00:18:10] with our kids.
[00:18:10] Lucas: It was because it was actually solving a huge problem in our, in our [00:18:15] home. So a good place to start with where to start with these SOPs and where to put process in [00:18:20] places. Where's the chaos? Where's the part of your day that you don't look [00:18:25] forward to every day? Where's that moment that you're like, that should be the [00:18:30] thing that the light bulb pops up and says, okay.
[00:18:32] Lucas: Write it down. Matter of fact, you know, it's funny that we do these talks [00:18:35] and you know, you mentioned that this like oozes out of me. It really doesn't. I mean, it still is a discipline for me [00:18:40] too. I was actually just thinking about this. I'm like, you know what? After dinner time is starting to [00:18:45] get chaotic.
[00:18:45] Lucas: It was good for a while, but it's starting to get chaotic. And I know exactly what the problem is. [00:18:50] We don't have a process in place. There's people don't know the responsibilities. They don't know what a good [00:18:55] job looks like. And I was thinking, you know what? I got to sit down and write it out. [00:19:00] Train around it, all that kind of stuff.
[00:19:01] Lucas: Wherever you're feeling that pain, that's where you're going to get the [00:19:05] biggest bang for your buck, if you put this in place. So let that be your guide with this.
[00:19:09] Blake Smith: It's [00:19:10] addicting, too. Like, if you actually take something that was the biggest pain point, and turn it [00:19:15] into a place of joy, like, you're like, what else can I do, right?
[00:19:19] Blake Smith: Like, I think there's [00:19:20] something that it's very, uh, it's really satisfying. In a job, That you're like [00:19:25] cool. We're gonna go head down for 18 years and we'll find out how we did It's nice to have a couple wins, [00:19:30] you know along the way
[00:19:33] Chandler: Um, all right. Yeah, so [00:19:35] lean into the natural uh abilities and giftings [00:19:40] of your specific child I think this is across the [00:19:45] board if you have if you have chickens or ducks, four year olds are [00:19:50] just like genetically hardwired to like want to go and get them.
[00:19:53] Chandler: Like if they're, there's, [00:19:55] Oh, sorry. Yeah. Not the, not the chickens, the eggs. They went to go find the eggs and they bring it [00:20:00] to you like a little gift. Like it's, it's the highlight of their life to go and find the duck eggs every morning. [00:20:05] Um, so just like, instead of giving, Imogen, a job of [00:20:10] like, all right, your job is to scrub all the dishes after dinner.
[00:20:13] Chandler: Her job is to, [00:20:15] you know, wipe down her seat and to go collect the duck eggs outside. Look for [00:20:20] them in the yard. See if you can find it. It's like an Easter egg hunt every single morning. Um, [00:20:25] Truman, his job is to like empty the garbages in the bathrooms [00:20:30] every day. And he calls himself the garbage man. And like, it's like part of his identity being the [00:20:35] garbage man.
[00:20:36] Chandler: Um, and it's a huge help to our family, but that's just [00:20:40] like, it's, it's easy for him to do it. My girls, my older girls really like, they [00:20:45] love cooking and we have like great conversations while they're helping me. It's like, it's a [00:20:50] blessing to me. They're enjoying it. We're connecting, but like, I'm not gonna.
[00:20:54] Chandler: I want my [00:20:55] 13 year old boy to like know how to make a couple of things and be competent so that he can serve his family in the [00:21:00] future, but I'm not going to make him help me cook every meal when the girls are dying [00:21:05] to do it and he's happy to go do other chores. So just like if they, if you [00:21:10] see a natural gifting, if you see an age appropriate tasks for those kids, assign [00:21:15] that job to them.[00:21:20]
[00:21:20] Lucas: All right, make it work for you. Um, this is kind of a point of tension. Whenever we start [00:21:25] trying to implement stuff in our family, my wife is a paper and pen person, and I am a [00:21:30] Google docs, Google sheets person. I live inside of a digital world. That's where [00:21:35] everything works for me. And, and so I have found that me trying [00:21:40] to.
[00:21:41] Lucas: Push her or push the family to adopt a system that works for me [00:21:45] doesn't work. So I let her do it her way. This was an example though, I'm going to be [00:21:50] getting more involved with homeschool this fall. And immediately I [00:21:55] was like, I need to get everything off of paper and into a Google spreadsheet somewhere because that's where I [00:22:00] live.
[00:22:00] Lucas: So making it work for you, making it work for your family. This is where [00:22:05] you get to bring your own creativity, your own sense of style, your own way that you do things. There is [00:22:10] no right way to do this. There is no one size fits all kind of [00:22:15] thing. Um, and I would recommend as you're getting [00:22:20] started or maybe trying this for the first part, I say this all the time, do it badly.
[00:22:24] Lucas: Don't worry [00:22:25] about it being great. You're going to change it. Every process has a shelf life, everything. You're going to change it a [00:22:30] thousand times. You're going to forget about it. Like you said, you're probably going to experiment with 15 of these and [00:22:35] only one of them is going to stick. The important thing is that you keep doing it.
[00:22:39] Lucas: The important [00:22:40] thing, especially for fathers, I heard somebody say this to me recently, like we get [00:22:45] points for trying. Okay. We get points for trying when we try and [00:22:50] you're going to experience this. I experienced all the time. Even with this, you're going to get the eyes roll [00:22:55] the eye rolls. When you try this stuff, your wife's going to not want to do it that way.
[00:22:59] Lucas: Your kids are going to [00:23:00] think it's stupid. You're going to, you're going to, you know, beat your head up against the wall sometimes and be like, why am I even [00:23:05] trying? Keep trying. Okay. Keep working with the tools [00:23:10] that you have. Keep trying to fix it a little bit so that it's a little bit easier for you to do it [00:23:15] this time.
[00:23:15] Lucas: You know, again, whether it's, uh, whether it's digitally or whether it's a new tool or [00:23:20] a new app, just keep trying until you find it, find that way that it works for you. [00:23:25] Don't give up. Is the most important thing. So make everything [00:23:30] that you're doing work for you. Don't force it.
[00:23:33] Chandler: I think one thing I would [00:23:35] add to that is like, wives, like, let your husband keep trying, like [00:23:40] if he, if, if he tries something and it doesn't work, like, it was just an [00:23:45] experiment.
[00:23:45] Chandler: Just keep on going with it. Like, let him, let him fail. Go with it. Just like be all [00:23:50] in on it. Um, this is like, he's trying to love you. He's trying to [00:23:55] serve you. And sometimes it like doesn't work quite right and feels a little [00:24:00] disjointed, but, but he's, but he's loving you and serving you. [00:24:05] And then when it does work, it's like, oh my gosh, I feel so loved and so valued.
[00:24:08] Chandler: And so like you're [00:24:10] putting all of your time and effort into making our household thrive. And that is like, I don't know [00:24:15] what could make me feel more left than that.
[00:24:17] Blake Smith: That was a hypothetical scenario that you were [00:24:20] describing. Yeah. Those, I think that a [00:24:25] lot of marriages might have that issue, so I appreciate that.
[00:24:27] Blake Smith: Thank you. Um, [00:24:30] Alright, uh, last, uh, keep it in the family. I love the vision [00:24:35] of this, was that as our kids get more competent, all this [00:24:40] money that used to come into your house and then flow out of your house can come into your house [00:24:45] and then circulate within your house. Like, how cool is that? This is a great example.
[00:24:49] Blake Smith: The first one for us [00:24:50] has been lawn care. We have about two acres, and then we have another two acres at a rental property, [00:24:55] and so lawn care was a legitimate part of our budget, and my son has [00:25:00] taken that over, and it saved us hundreds of dollars a month for him to take that [00:25:05] over. I pay him 35 per yard, so 70 bucks a week.
[00:25:09] Blake Smith: And he [00:25:10] is delighted. The guy is rolling in money. Um, and it's, [00:25:15] it works great for him. And like from an hourly standpoint, it kind of adds up. It's like he's getting about, I mean he's spending [00:25:20] what, seven hours a week doing it? So he's like, it's like getting like ten bucks an hour. Which is [00:25:25] a, I mean, good, but not what you pay maybe a landscaper or something like that.
[00:25:29] Blake Smith: Um, he's also [00:25:30] using my tools and so there's some justification there. But there's a really cool dynamic. Where, [00:25:35] uh, there's an actual economic reality here. Which is that you can transact with your kids. And I want to [00:25:40] be, I want my kids to think, Man, Pop pays really, really well. Because I hope to work with these people [00:25:45] for the rest of my life.
[00:25:46] Blake Smith: Like, that's my goal. And I just love the idea of seeing [00:25:50] Rather than this money kind of shoot out to be, have it circulate within our home and us be working [00:25:55] together. Um, I don't know. It's really exciting. Any comments, questions? All [00:26:00] right, cool. That's it. Uh, questions, thoughts, Compliments, whatever you want to bring up.[00:26:05]
[00:26:05] Blake Smith: Let's start with compliments. Yeah, compliments would be great.[00:26:10]
[00:26:11] Question 2: Yeah. [00:26:15] Yeah,
[00:26:17] Lucas: um, well, there's another like [00:26:20] hidden tip in there. Branding certain tasks helps your children [00:26:25] adopt them more. So, uh, I think you guys called it something pre dinner end of [00:26:30] day
[00:26:30] Chandler: pickup, but they
[00:26:33] Lucas: pick up, we call blessing hour. So the [00:26:35] blessing hour was, again, it was another one of those things where that, that [00:26:40] short window before we start making dinner was always like.
[00:26:44] Lucas: All hell breaking [00:26:45] loose in the home and everything was a mess and everything was stressful and all that kind of stuff. [00:26:50] So it was like, and this was actually, this was a hundred percent Tara. She came up with this. I think she had heard it from somebody, [00:26:55] the blessing hour, right? So before, you know, after the kids are done with nap time and all that kind of [00:27:00] stuff, before they can do anything else, we got to clean up the house.
[00:27:03] Lucas: What we did is we divvied up by [00:27:05] zones. So each kid has a zone. So one kid has the living room. One kid has the family room. One kid has a [00:27:10] dining room. One kid has it, you know, all that kind of stuff. We used to do it by tasks, but it just became too [00:27:15] administratively crazy to constantly be trying to figure out that stuff.
[00:27:18] Lucas: So now it's just, you get an area, [00:27:20] right? Um, they get it all done, then they can go play. I like the video game idea. We've, we've pressed [00:27:25] pause on video games for a while, so that might be a good reward for us to sink back in. But yeah, just the time before [00:27:30] dinner, getting the house all picked up and ready for dinner.
[00:27:32] Lucas: Breakfast[00:27:35]
[00:27:37] Question 3: 7 a. m. [00:27:40] Do you make them wake up for me?
[00:27:42] Lucas: They have alarm clocks. They have alarm clocks? Yeah.
[00:27:44] Question 3: What time do they [00:27:45] wake up?
[00:27:45] Lucas: Um, they wake up at 7.
[00:27:47] Question 3: So they all set an alarm, wake up at [00:27:50] 7, breakfast is done by
[00:27:52] Lucas: 7.
[00:27:52] Question 3: 30. And you guys come [00:27:55] out at
[00:27:55] Lucas: Around then. Depending upon what time the baby wakes up. Sometimes [00:28:00] earlier, sometimes later.
[00:28:00] Lucas: You know, um, sometimes I eat with them, sometimes I don't. But, [00:28:05] but yeah, they're pretty much, they get going. We are, we are getting into a little bit of a, of a season right now [00:28:10] where my two oldest Kind of want to have their own, their own [00:28:15] thing. They want to make protein shakes and, and things like that. So it's, it's caused a little bit of [00:28:20] chaos lately, but it's manageable at this point still.
[00:28:22] Lucas: They're still making breakfast for everybody else. [00:28:25] So, yeah, they, they wake up to alarm clocks and, and get it, get it done.[00:28:30]
[00:28:34] Question 4: Well, on [00:28:35] that, how much are the, like, planning responsibility? Do they come up with the menu? Are they making [00:28:40] the lists? And are they giving them a budget? Or is it more like
[00:28:44] Lucas: It [00:28:45] is eggs, sausage, and fruit. Right? And it's pretty simple. So we [00:28:50] go, we get the, we get the Costco sausages, and we get the, Uh, you know, big old [00:28:55] things, eggs, and they don't want to make scrambled eggs.
[00:28:57] Lucas: They, they keep it pretty simple. My, my one daughter, [00:29:00] Devorah has started making sourdough bread from scratch, which is holy [00:29:05] moly. That has been amazing. Um, so we have been incorporating a little bit of toast in there, but [00:29:10] this is one of those areas too, where you want to be really careful getting [00:29:15] all the variables out of the system.
[00:29:16] Lucas: Cause you enter one variable in and it can throw the whole thing off. So it's [00:29:20] like eggs, sausage, and maybe one other thing. Keeping it really simple is, is [00:29:25] allowed it to kind of keep going.
[00:29:27] Question 5: Egg sausage bread every morning? [00:29:30]
[00:29:30] Lucas: Every morning.
[00:29:32] Question 5: Do they do that, you guys do, do dinner or [00:29:35] different meals or just breakfast?
[00:29:36] Question 5: I know you said that they do dinner.
[00:29:39] Chandler: Like, like [00:29:40] help with it?
[00:29:40] Question 3: Yeah.
[00:29:41] Chandler: Yeah, yeah, most days they, I mean it'll be like, all [00:29:45] right I need the celery to be chopped and they chop, you know, um, but they're [00:29:50] incorporated in that.
[00:29:51] Lucas: And again, this is an area where like, it's, it's your family, it's your palate. If you want to [00:29:55] do cereal and fruit, great.
[00:29:56] Lucas: If you, you know, the, the family I went and visited, they, they were like [00:30:00] even, I mean, they had like muffins and, And I mean, it was, it was a spread, right? [00:30:05] Um, but you know, whatever you think is going to work with your nutritional needs [00:30:10] and all that kind of stuff, try some stuff. Just again, keep it simple. Uh, [00:30:15] it's way more sustainable if they're not coming, you know, the idea of them picking a new menu.[00:30:20]
[00:30:20] Lucas: No, like that, that will go off the rails.
[00:30:23] Chandler: Maybe when they're [00:30:25] 18, then, you know,
[00:30:26] Lucas: maybe some other time, but like, you got to keep it really simple for it to. To be [00:30:30] sustained
[00:30:30] Blake Smith: as pancakes and scrambled eggs.[00:30:35]
[00:30:37] Question 6: Um, so our kids are kind of on the other side. Our [00:30:40] oldest, we have three year oldest and almost six. Yeah. So not quite to the age, being able to do [00:30:45] right as much, but are there any recommended ideas of [00:30:50] jobs and things like that? That's good for the age, age range we're in right now? [00:30:55]
[00:30:55] Lucas: Six. Um, dishwasher. Is usually one that [00:31:00] I actually I came across a family that moved how they put their dishes away.
[00:31:04] Lucas: They [00:31:05] moved all the dishes that were in the dishwasher to the lower level. So that their little kids could put them away. But [00:31:10] I think the dishwasher is a good one for six. Um, you know, probably, you know, you [00:31:15] could get them started like vacuuming and things like that. But yeah, definitely not cooking at [00:31:20] six.
[00:31:20] Lucas: But I think, I think those are some, some, I don't know if you guys have any other.
[00:31:24] Chandler: I [00:31:25] was just thinking about it today. Like I feel like with that age. You could go and spend like [00:31:30] 500 on a pre k curriculum where you're like sorting shapes and doing cute stuff [00:31:35] like that. Or you could like teach them how to sort like the silverware and you're doing [00:31:40] exactly the same thing, but they're being a blessing to your family and you save money.
[00:31:44] Chandler: [00:31:45] Um, so like things like that, I, the thing that like, I always start doing with like, [00:31:50] as, as soon as a baby can like really understand it is like, I'll change their diaper and I'll be [00:31:55] like, all right, put this in the garbage. And it's their job to go and walk it and put it in the garbage. And [00:32:00] then you like, yeah, your job.
[00:32:01] Chandler: Um, and they feel so excited about it that like, if someone [00:32:05] else throws it away, they'll freak out. Um, so just like little tiny things like that. Like if it's, [00:32:10] it's their job to like, you know, put your shoes on or not, you know, when they can [00:32:15] do those little things, but if they know that it's their job, they're really clear about like, [00:32:20] it's your job, it's your responsibility.
[00:32:21] Chandler: You get praised and rewarded when you do it. Just like start [00:32:25] with those little things and then over time they can do more and more.
[00:32:29] Lucas: Picking up [00:32:30] toys, you know, things like that. I mean they, they, I walked in and my five year old [00:32:35] had the, had the silverware out on the counter and he was putting the silverware and I [00:32:40] swear he looked like he was having a blast.
[00:32:42] Lucas: I mean he was having so much fun putting this [00:32:45] silverware away and he's five, you know, so the stuff like that.
[00:32:49] Blake Smith: You've done laundry [00:32:50] too. I feel like you've done some of the girls laundry. Yeah,
[00:32:51] Chandler: like folding washcloths. That's a huge one. [00:32:55] They love that. Um, yeah. And I, like, I think just like taking [00:33:00] the time to like, it would be way easier for you to just real fast fold all the washcloths, but [00:33:05] like, you're, you're, it's gonna take longer, but you're, [00:33:10] you're training them.
[00:33:10] Question 4: Um, I have twins, almost two. [00:33:15]
[00:33:17] Chandler: Bless you! You [00:33:20]
[00:33:21] Question 4: got examples of jobs or chores? [00:33:25]
[00:33:26] Lucas: Two year olds?[00:33:30]
[00:33:30] Lucas: That's pretty ambitious, buddy.[00:33:35]
[00:33:36] Lucas: Yeah, I think, you know, I go back to what he was saying, like, I think at [00:33:40] that point, just anything that they're already finding, you know, if they're trying to get [00:33:45] involved with you at that age, just go with it, right? But, I mean, two is pretty [00:33:50] young, so they're not going to be able to pick much up. At that point, but yeah, if they want to join [00:33:55] you in a task, let them join you
[00:33:56] Blake Smith: carrying stuff Like if i'm working on something have them [00:34:00] say hey you you hold this or i'm holding my two year old Like can you hold this for me and then [00:34:05] we walk over and like that sort of thing um, it's definitely less of an actual asset [00:34:10] probably at that age, but
[00:34:12] Chandler: But you're not squashing the thing.
[00:34:14] Chandler: You don't want to [00:34:15] be like, go away till when you're 6 and more helpful. You know, you're like, I need you. [00:34:20] Even though you don't really need them right now. But like, I need, I need you to want to be needed. You know? [00:34:25]
[00:34:25] Lucas: And that's a good, you know, a good reminder. I think a lot of us in this room [00:34:30] have very young kids.
[00:34:31] Lucas: Or you don't, at least you don't have very old kids yet. [00:34:35] Um, it's always been surprising to me [00:34:40] How with every year something kind of gets unlocked, they're [00:34:45] able to do something. You probably all experienced this, like the first time they're able to like unbuckle their own, you know, [00:34:50] car seat thing. It's like, Whoa, like there's a huge milestone.
[00:34:53] Lucas: So [00:34:55] another just encouragement with this stuff, you know, my oldest is going to be 13. You have a 13 year old, like. [00:35:00] If you've got really young kids, like, just be patient, like, [00:35:05] it gets, it gets better, it gets easier, it doesn't feel like that right now, it feels like it's [00:35:10] only chaos, and it's only liability, and it's only more work, but as they get older, [00:35:15] these things really do start to kind of unlock with your kids, and so just be patient with [00:35:20] it.
[00:35:20] Chandler: And, uh, I think there's like some reality of like, [00:35:25] your house will probably be Less organized and [00:35:30] messier on the front end when you're training all these things. [00:35:35] And, and in the, like, at the end, they'll be competent people who can do [00:35:40] it. But there's a little bit of like, you know what, we have five kids, seven and [00:35:45] under, and I'm trying to teach them how to do all these things.
[00:35:47] Chandler: They're not going to do it very well. And just kind of [00:35:50] giving yourself a little bit of grace for that. Or [00:35:55]
[00:35:55] Question 7: you guys, I think just thinking about like, so do you like write the SOP or think of, [00:36:00] Hey, I want to implement this and then present it to Chandler. I just feel like we're kind of in this season where it's [00:36:05] like, I feel like 15 minutes worth, like, no interruption.
[00:36:08] Question 7: So, like, to have a [00:36:10] conversation to, like, present these things, talk about these things, like, I think desiring that, [00:36:15] but, like, bringing it to life, and, like, bringing it alive, [00:36:20] is a whole nother
[00:36:22] Lucas: thing. There's your first SOP. A process [00:36:25] to give you guys 15 minutes of quiet time. So you guys can talk through things for your [00:36:30] family.
[00:36:30] Lucas: I mean, I'm kind of joking, but I'm kind of being, you know, real like it's okay. So what's [00:36:35] preventing you guys for me and I'll have that time. Okay. What could you do [00:36:40] now to make sure you have that time? What do the kids need to be doing? Do they need to be in the [00:36:45] rooms doing quiet time? Do they need to be picking up something that whatever that might be, that's, that's a good [00:36:50] pain point to, to kind of steer your, your energy in the direction of, okay, let's start [00:36:55] there.
[00:36:55] Lucas: Yep.
[00:36:56] Question 4: Why am I a bit bored? Laughter [00:37:00]
[00:37:00] Question 3: Um, okay, question, question. Uh, Blades, you talked about uh, [00:37:05] the fancy word of your two year old
[00:37:08] Blake Smith: Accommodito.
[00:37:09] Question 3: Yeah, [00:37:10] okay, so, and I feel like you talked about doing dishes and you also used an [00:37:15] example of sweeping. Did you say that? Yep. Okay, so, you're [00:37:20] loading the dishwasher, your two year old walks over to the dishwasher wants to help.[00:37:25]
[00:37:25] Question 3: Dishwasher's full of glass bowls, glass plates, [00:37:30] and you do this. You know what I mean? What do you do for that? [00:37:35] Second, sweeping. They want to help sweep and it [00:37:40] turns into a lightsaber. What do you do for that?
[00:37:43] Chandler: You have all girls, right? [00:37:45]
[00:37:45] Blake Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Um, on the, you know, [00:37:50] Proactively giving a job. I've even noticed, our two year old really likes to be picked up [00:37:55] and held.
[00:37:55] Blake Smith: And I noticed when I was trying to do dishes, she's like, Hold me, hold me, hold me. I'm like, hey, can you hold this? And I [00:38:00] just handed her a fork. And she's like, oh. I'm like, can you put it in that drawer? She's like, alright. And then she kind of would [00:38:05] go. And so I'd say, proactively giving them a thing to touch is the [00:38:10] first go, rather than saying, don't touch that thing.
[00:38:13] Blake Smith: Um, unless you're in the [00:38:15] mood for like a little don't touch training, which that may kind of pirate the whole situation, which is okay, [00:38:20] that's a good time to do it, but, um, yeah, generally proactively like give them a job [00:38:25] to do, uh, before they start doing it wrong, and what I've noticed is that [00:38:30] their attention span on that is around 45 seconds.
[00:38:33] Blake Smith: They'll do something and then they're like [00:38:35] and I'm done here. My work here is done And then they want to go and play or something like that. Um, you [00:38:40] said the sweeping lightsaber I definitely there's like a whole there's a [00:38:45] whole other talk that we're not going to give here around correction and training of Towards like [00:38:50] not doing bad things, right?
[00:38:52] Blake Smith: And that's probably more in that which is [00:38:55] like a no no Having some level of consequence whether it's a slap on the hand or a holding them still or something [00:39:00] like that
[00:39:02] Lucas: Well, I think your point about the attention span is, [00:39:05] is important. Like they might sweep really good for like three sweeps [00:39:10] and then they want lightsaber.
[00:39:11] Lucas: It's like, okay, sweeping is done. Thank you for your help. You're right. Like it's now not [00:39:15] sweeping anymore. Like again, age appropriate understanding. They're not going to like sweep the [00:39:20] whole kitchen. But if you can get three or four good sweeps out of them, that was a great job.
[00:39:23] Blake Smith: We're not teaching them to [00:39:25] finish the job.
[00:39:25] Blake Smith: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have? Yeah. [00:39:30] Yeah.
[00:39:32] Question 10: Uh, so are y'all, are y'all supporting the way all [00:39:35] these, all these SOPs to give to your kids once they are, once they are adults and have their own [00:39:40] kids? Or is the, or is a lot of benefit as, as y'all as [00:39:45] parents developing them yourselves?
[00:39:46] Blake Smith: Yo, as far as like, could, could it be replicated by our kids [00:39:50] someday to have the same ones?
[00:39:51] Blake Smith: That's
[00:39:53] Lucas: How to run a family.
[00:39:54] Blake Smith: [00:39:55] Yeah, right.
[00:39:57] Lucas: I think they
[00:39:57] Blake Smith: will. I [00:40:00] will have digital copies that I think they'll probably use to like laugh at us at how [00:40:05] hard we were trying. My hope is that a lot of this stuff is going to be intuitive. [00:40:10] And that our job for this generation is to just be awkward as hell [00:40:15] trying to figure it out, you know?
[00:40:17] Blake Smith: And then they're gonna be like, wait, why didn't you write it [00:40:20] this way? Why didn't you use this word? Like, I hope that the word standard operating procedure dies in my [00:40:25] generation. And it's just like called family chores or something like that, you know? [00:40:30] Um, but, yeah. Yeah, that'd be my, that'd be my guess. And I do think that they're pretty specific [00:40:35] to our family at this time.
[00:40:37] Blake Smith: And so I think they'll be pretty dated over time. [00:40:40] Yeah. Yeah. Thirteen. [00:40:45] Yeah.
[00:40:45] Question 9: Yes, [00:40:50] yeah.
[00:40:51] Blake Smith: It takes him seven hours, um, and so that, [00:40:55] like, Right, and that was actually an important thing, because I think it's worth clarifying there are a lot of things he does around the house [00:41:00] that we don't pay him for. And it was, again, if he's saving our family money, [00:41:05] I want him to participate in the upside of saving us money.
[00:41:08] Blake Smith: Um, that's kind of [00:41:10] how I think about it. As opposed to like, when our kids are doing dishes, they're not saving us money, they're saving [00:41:15] me headache. And that's just like, you're a part of the family. Yeah, that's the line that we also [00:41:20] do have, um, hot topic. We do have allowance in our family.
[00:41:24] Lucas: We had a, [00:41:25] we had a massive debate at this conference we were at a week ago about whether or not we should pay allowance, or [00:41:30] whether or not you should not have pay at all, or, there was lots of various opinions on that.
[00:41:34] Blake Smith: So, [00:41:35] if you get adopted into my family, or Lucas's family, you get an allowance. And you just get money, [00:41:40] just for being a part of the family. And also, just for being a part of the family, you have to do work around the [00:41:45] house. Those two things aren't tied together, but they're, they're in the same bucket. Um, I think there are arguments [00:41:50] for going both different directions, but, uh, that's kind of how we work.
[00:41:52] Blake Smith: So they have a certain amount of money that they get regularly. I [00:41:55] want to watch them use that money. They can choose to blow it on dollar store [00:42:00] toys and then realize that was a big mistake. Hopefully over time. I want them to make those mistakes now so that they don't [00:42:05] make it with buying a stupid car when they're 20.
[00:42:07] Blake Smith: Um, and so that's kind of our [00:42:10] philosophy is like you get money just for being. Yeah. And then you can get money for saving, doing a task [00:42:15] that we would pay someone else for. You get to, if you save our money, family money, you get to participate.
[00:42:19] Blake Smith: [00:42:20] Five. [00:42:25] Five. So, and it's, uh, you get however many dollars you are old per week. [00:42:30] Um, so, the pay is good. Yeah, Greenlight app. There's a Greenlight
[00:42:34] Question 11: [00:42:35] app, very highly recommended. Yeah. Um, it makes all that really seamless and easy.
[00:42:39] Blake Smith: [00:42:40] Yep. And so it automatically puts it into an account for them. They have a little debit card that they can [00:42:45] use.
[00:42:45] Blake Smith: Um, and then they can also have a savings account where you can set the interest rate of [00:42:50] what interest rate you pay them. Our 13
[00:42:52] Chandler: year old just started investing in [00:42:55] Bitcoin. He did. And he's very into it. Yeah.
[00:42:57] Blake Smith: This guy stacks stats. I know that. Yeah. All right. Let's go. [00:43:00] Yeah. Um, yeah. But it's, yeah, he figured out the system really fast.
[00:43:04] Blake Smith: We're like, [00:43:05] I made a rule that you can't pull money out of savings except for. Once, it's [00:43:10] uh, once a month, and it's a seven day wait period to pull money out of savings, because I want it to be like [00:43:15] friction for liquidity, and um, so he has to decide how much of his money goes into the savings [00:43:20] account, and he goes, 100%, 100%, I want 100%, and he figured it out.
[00:43:23] Blake Smith: It's 10 percent yield in the [00:43:25] family, uh, uh, bank, and he's like, he's making money. He's figured it out fast. [00:43:30] Yeah.
[00:43:31] Question 12: Do you guys sit down and have these, like, money business [00:43:35] conversations with them so that, like, they. Yeah. So that they learn these things are, you [00:43:40] know, like if he's investing in Bitcoin, I mean, he has to know what a Bitcoin is.
[00:43:43] Question 12: How many 13 year olds know [00:43:45] that? I don't even
[00:43:45] Question 9: know.
[00:43:46] Lucas: Yeah, those are more one off. Those aren't like a standard meeting. [00:43:50] But, um, my daughter is not in Bitcoin, but she is invested in NVIDIA, [00:43:55] which is done really well and a couple right through green light. You can actually [00:44:00] do stocks, right? So So she gets the, the interest that we pay her on our savings.
[00:44:04] Lucas: [00:44:05] She gets the stocks. And again, you know, we're talking about 50 bucks, [00:44:10] right? It's not, this isn't big money, but those are all little opportunities for me to [00:44:15] explain and teach them about economics and about finance and about debt and about savings in [00:44:20] a, in a safe way where they're making small mistakes so that they don't have to learn that stuff on the big [00:44:25] stuff later on.
[00:44:26] Blake Smith: Um, what's the wealth quest, what's his name? Uh, what's it, do you [00:44:30] remember the name of his book? Okay.
[00:44:31] Lucas: Um, The Generous Life.
[00:44:32] Blake Smith: The Generous Life by James [00:44:35] Lenhoff. Uh, that book outlines pretty much the system that we're doing. I think the one that you're doing, too. We just [00:44:40] applied directly. The Bank of Mom and Dad, he calls it.
[00:44:41] Blake Smith: Yeah, the Bank of Mom and Dad. Uh, highly recommend that book for money [00:44:45] management stuff with kids.
[00:44:47] Question 8: Do you, how old are your kids when [00:44:50] you start them on midnight? We, we were just debating this, like, do they [00:44:55] need,
[00:44:55] Blake Smith: like, a tangible, something more tangible? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:44:58] Lucas: Yeah.
[00:44:59] Blake Smith: [00:45:00] We're doing five. Yeah, five
[00:45:01] Lucas: is us, as well.
[00:45:02] Question 11: And,
[00:45:03] Blake Smith: uh, I, I [00:45:05] don't, I, there's some part of me that feels like the tangible thing, but then it's another part of me that feels kind of like, that's how my book, my [00:45:10] parents talk about, like, how can you type on a computer when you, you can't even touch the ink? You know, like, it's like, all [00:45:15] right, like, maybe that's just a me thing as opposed to like, yeah.[00:45:20]
[00:45:20] Blake Smith: Yeah,
[00:45:21] Question 2: Lucas, can you, uh, I'm reminded of the story that you [00:45:25] share a bunch of guys when I first kind of found myself in this network of people [00:45:30] and it was about a time when, uh, the priors had put together a [00:45:35] big, uh, they're all going to go out to a restaurant and something happened bad [00:45:40] and then they rectified the issue.
[00:45:41] Question 2: Do you know what story I'm talking?
[00:45:42] Lucas: Oh my gosh. We were there together. We sat next to each [00:45:45] other. I don't remember it. See, I just told you. I don't have a lot of memory.
[00:45:48] Blake Smith: So, a couple years ago, [00:45:50] uh, we got, we went to a dinner, uh, with, uh, the Pryors are gonna have [00:45:55] us all go out because we participated in some family teams thing.
[00:45:57] Blake Smith: So, they're gonna take us out to dinner. They're like, we want to treat [00:46:00] you guys. And so, we arrive at the restaurant. Oh, There is no reservation here [00:46:05] for the Pryors. And Jeremy's like, well, shoot. There were like
[00:46:09] Chandler: 20 people.
[00:46:09] Blake Smith: There [00:46:10] were
[00:46:10] Question 11: 20 of us all at this restaurant. Yes,
[00:46:12] Blake Smith: and so he goes, okay. We can just eat back at [00:46:15] home.
[00:46:15] Blake Smith: And what, were you in the car with him? I didn't see like
[00:46:18] Lucas: Well, yeah, I was. [00:46:20] And so he called his daughter, who was at home, and said, [00:46:25] hey, Heads up, I have 20 hungry people that we were supposed to have dinner [00:46:30] at this restaurant and there was no reservation. Can you help and get a dinner [00:46:35] going for these 20 people?
[00:46:36] Lucas: We're going to be there in about 12 minutes. And, [00:46:40] no. They went, they scrounged through the house. They actually sent one of the [00:46:45] kids to the store real fast. And by the time we got there, they had tablecloths out on the [00:46:50] tables on the front porch. They had music going, they had drinks set up, they had [00:46:55] glasses out and everything, and they sat down, and we had like a three course [00:47:00] amazing meal that his children put together for us on the drop of a dime.[00:47:05]
[00:47:05] Lucas: It was crazy. It was pretty remarkable to see what [00:47:10] a well managed, well ordered, hospitable, [00:47:15] loving, fruitful family is capable of doing. It was a tiny taste of that that [00:47:20] night, yeah.
[00:47:20] Blake Smith: Yeah, and this is teenagers, maybe, yeah, probably oldest was like 20, something like that?
[00:47:24] Lucas: Yeah, [00:47:25] 20 down to like 12. It was crazy.
[00:47:27] Blake Smith: Yeah.
[00:47:29] Blake Smith: Anybody else? [00:47:30]
[00:47:30] Question 1: What issues have you run into with like, betraying different age [00:47:35] kids? You know, like, I've found that, like, my seven year old trying to [00:47:40] do different things than my three year old. And, like, having a training [00:47:45] time doesn't, it's not, it's, it's a little difficult. You know, like, 20 minutes to train [00:47:50] all three of them.
[00:47:51] Question 1: Uh, like, y'all do that, y'all have a different time with the training to [00:47:55] do.
[00:47:56] Blake Smith: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think it's pretty highly attuned to each [00:48:00] kid in terms of the level. Certain ones of our kids pick it up, but They can just read the [00:48:05] document and they got it. And other ones are less so, that. Um, also [00:48:10] gender is a, is a, uh, an issue as well, in terms of number of times you need to repeat [00:48:15] things, at least in our experience, to a son than a daughter.
[00:48:18] Blake Smith: Um, yeah. So [00:48:20] it's like the, um, the, uh, John Wooden, John [00:48:25] Wooden talks about that, of like, managing, coaching, and parenting are all the same [00:48:30] thing. Um, yeah. And it's all about taking where you're at, and we're going to move you to where you could be. And [00:48:35] that is highly unique to each individual person, where they're at, and where they can get to.[00:48:40]
[00:48:40] Blake Smith: Um, and so it's an individualized job of a large group of people.
[00:48:44] Lucas: Yeah, and [00:48:45] I think that, you know, when you can, when you hear this stuff, and I'm sure, I mean, I'm sure a lot of you are [00:48:50] doing things in microcosms and what, maybe your kids aren't all making breakfast, but we're doing this [00:48:55] in, in microcosms all the time.
[00:48:57] Lucas: It, it's always surprising to me. [00:49:00] how little effort this takes. I mean, I, I mean it like [00:49:05] teaching my kids to make breakfast. It wasn't that hard. I mean, it really wasn't [00:49:10] like, I'm not some special magical trainer guy. Like I, I got them all into the, [00:49:15] into the kitchen. I started making eggs. I showed them how I, and I, I'm, this is how [00:49:20] I like my eggs.
[00:49:20] Lucas: I, you know, it was very clear with how I like my eggs done. I showed them how to make sausage. [00:49:25] Next time they were doing it, I was over their shoulder watching. Before [00:49:30] I knew it, I mean, they had it. I mean, it was maybe, maybe an hour total of my time it took to [00:49:35] get them on board. The other thing is your older kids will start to train the younger kids, even just through [00:49:40] osmosis.
[00:49:40] Lucas: I mean, they, Your younger kids will see what the older kids are doing and learn from them. [00:49:45] So, so, you know, if you're, if you're feeling like this might be overwhelming and all kinds of stuff, [00:49:50] I'm telling you, if you just put a little effort in with, you know, the oldest kid, [00:49:55] whatever it is, just try, you know, 15 minutes, you'll just be amazed at how far [00:50:00] that can go.
[00:50:00] Lucas: [00:50:05] Um, when was that wedding? [00:50:10]
[00:50:10] Blake Smith: Maybe three years ago? Three years ago? Yeah.
[00:50:13] Lucas: And it was probably maybe a year [00:50:15] before that we started, so she was probably like nine, eight or nine, yeah. [00:50:20] And now we have Savannah, and then Devorah's not too far behind her, and then Brim and [00:50:25] Josiah are not too far behind them, so yeah, so it was a team effort, [00:50:30] [00:50:35] yeah.
[00:50:36] [00:50:40] [00:50:45] Well friends, thanks for listening to today's episode. If you'd like to learn more about a thousand [00:50:50] houses or discover what a season of coaching might look like for you and your household, visit one k [00:50:55] h. org. We'll see you for the next [00:51:00] [00:51:05] [00:51:10] [00:51:15] [00:51:20] [00:51:25] [00:51:30] [00:51:35] [00:51:40] [00:51:45] episode.
